Sunday, March 13, 2016

I've done everything I can... why don't they like me?

     Sometimes there are days that test my focus, that push my limits on my personal growth, that really check me to see if I am doing my work on myself.  In being open and authentic, I admit that I have spent a lifetime worrying about whether or not I am liked.  I go above and beyond to do things for people, I offer myself up, I give my time, my money, my heart.  I do it to reward my soul, but in really coming to understand who I am, at my core, I believe I also do these things to ensure I am liked.  I think that, possibly, I am not the only one who does this.  We go above and beyond, and hope that we are appreciated, and often times we are not.  Our feelings are hurt, and then in an attempt to feel better about it, we go out and do more things for more people, often times, for the same people who we have felt unappreciated by.  There are times that we are seen in a poor light or accused of something that we didn't do.  And, we, the servers of others, feel so hurt that someone could think so poorly of us, because we do so much to help others.  How could someone think horrible things of us?  It can be a crushing feeling. 
     This week my coach and mentor has helped me to realize, that all of the time I have spent worrying what others have thought, the endless time and efforts supporting others, and the feelings of being not seen, has helped me in ways that I wasn't seeing yet.  It has helped me to become a compassionate leader.  It has helped me to become this person that always see the bright side, and gives others the benefit of the doubt.  A person who looks for solutions and cares deeply for those around her.  A teacher. A mentor. A student.              My coach asked me to make a list of all of the things I am extraordinary at.  As I made this list, I realized that all of those things that I thought made me naive and open to be hurt, those things that always made me feel like the child at the adult table, the thought in my head that I am always overlooked, all of those things were actually the fertilizer in which all of my extraordinary characteristics grew.
     In my life and my work, I breathe belief into people.  I see their potential, even when they can't see it yet.  I lift up and love, I teach and learn, I am open, I am truthful, and my purpose to make this world a better place, even if it is one person at a time is woven into my world daily.  When I was coming from the place of hurt, I believe that I was leading a wounded-driven life.  I had great purpose, but there was always hurt and struggle at the core.  In my realization this week, I see that, these struggles have perfectly prepared me to move from a wounded leader, to a purpose-driven leader.  What an eye opening experience when I connected the dots!  I have also realized, that trying to figure out what is going on inside someones head, is none of my business.  Their thoughts are their own, and I do myself such a disservice spending time in their brains, when there is so much work to be done inside of my own!
     I would challenge all of you to make a list for yourself.  What you are extraordinary at?  What are those characteristics that were grown from your struggles?  Can you connect the dots?  Can we grow and cultivate this together and all become more purpose-driven?  Oh, imagine the lives that we will help to change!  Imagine the impact on world!  It actually gives me goosebumps!!  <3

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Thoughts do become things!!!

Frustration, Discouragement, Irritation, Depression, Lack of Motivation...  Just some of the negative feelings that we can experience in a day that keep us from the life that we could be living.  We are all human, we all have felt some, or all of theses at one time or another.  For some of us we are in a constant cycle of going from one of these to the next, over and over, and as we get more frustrated and down, it just seems as if we just can't get a break.  The dominoes just seem to keep falling over.

So how come it seems that some people never seem to go through any of these down times?  How come some people always see any obstacle as an opportunity...Or they just don't see the obstacle at all, as if it doesn't even exist.   Are they different someone in how they are built?  Are they somehow immune to these things?  No, they have the same brain, blood and organs as the rest of us, but, there is one thing that is different...They use their brains in a different way than most of us do.  These people don't allow these negative thoughts or feelings to take up residency in their mind, they have a constant anti-virus program running in the back of their mind that destroys those thoughts and feelings as they show up, so their thoughts, lives, and results can never be infected.

This is, for most of these people, a learned and practiced behavior.  There are some lucky people that this is just natural for, but for most, it is something that is learned and they constantly worked at it, so it became second nature for them.

Why is it easier to feel the bad stuff, and believe the negative, self defeating talk that goes on in our heads all day?  When we know that we create our own world by the thoughts we think every second, why would choose to create a world full of thorns and misery, when instead we can have a path of happiness and roses?

Most of time it is just a matter of awareness.  When we become aware that our thoughts become things, we must then learn to focus those thoughts on an almost constant basis.  It's hard work.  Rewarding beyond belief... but yes, hard!  This is where I have learned the "anti-virus" technique of having a positive mantra running in the back of my mind at all times.  When things are coming at me in a negative way, or my thoughts go into doubt mode, or I begin to feel any of those negative emotions mentioned above, I have several positive mantras that are constantly there to zap any negative idea or feeling.  They are my soldiers at the gate that will not let the army of self defeat infect my world.  My mantra begins, "Because I am so happy and grateful, I am now___________."  I fill in the blank with a goal that I desire in my life.  I always say this to myself, as if I have already achieved it and it is mine.

I am not always good at it, sometimes I am great, sometimes not so great, but day, by day, by day, I get a little bit better...  It has become a natural thought process for me at most times.  Sometimes I really have to pull my thoughts in when they go off track, but that happens less and less every day.

I will be one of those people who just seem to never have a worry or an obstacle.  I work on it every second.  It is something that I see for myself so clearly.  I keep my objective in my line of sight every where that I look to ensure success.

I hope that in sharing with you what I have been learning, that you may begin to shift your thoughts also.  This is all part of how I believe we can begin to change things in this world.  We can help each other stay in positive flow, and when we do, we can't help but touch the people around us in a better way.

Our thoughts truly become things... So let's all think amazing ones!

Friday, May 10, 2013


     Have you ever wondered how some people stay so laser focused on a goal until it is fulfilled... and others cannot focus for longer than the time it takes to have one thought.  Whichever one you happen to be or anywhere in between, I am sure you can agree that the statement, "I guard my focus with my life," is extremely profound.  Really think about it.  How distracted are we all on an almost constant basis?  How often does something pull us away from the focus at hand?  Everything from small irritations or things we perceive as obstacles, to distractions, to heck... just something shiny that takes our brain away from where it was heading.
     What if our focus was so targeted, that all of the little things that show up in our way,..what if we just ignored them and went around without missing a step?  Imagine what we could accomplish! 
     I have watched a friend I have known for almost 8 years, become so good at this practice that it almost seems effortless to watch him.  He has shown us all what can be accomplished when you focus your energy, every second of every day on nothing else but the end goal.  Whatever that goal is for you, it doesn't really matter, as it will be different for everyone, but,what if you could guard the focus on that goal with every ounce of your being?  Imagine going through your day, floating and swaying away from every negative thought or feeling, and only flowing in positive thought.  To be able to course correct so quickly away from the "bad" thing that you almost have no seeing or acknowledgement of it at all.
     What if a mechanic, who used to change oil for a living and barely getting by, what if he changed his thought process?  Only focused on what can be, no matter how big or how small?  Ignored any negative that came his way?  Could that mechanic become a millionaire?  Do you believe it can be true?  Well I hope so, because I am here to tell you that I witnessed the transformation!  I watched as a man who believed that he could have a different life, first created that life in his brain, and then manifested it into a daily reality.  
     Dave MacArthur, you are the mechanic to millionaire!  And you have shown us the possibility that is out there for all of us.  When we can learn to guard our focus with our life, as you have done, the amazing things that will be created in our world.  Thank you for creating a place where we can learn to do the same.  Thank you for teaching us all be laser focused in a way most of us have never realized possible.  
     Dave has created a bi-weekly podcast to help us through the principles that he followed and continues to practice to achieve his amazing success.  I am sending you an invitation to join him twice a week.    I recommend you listen in... start from #1 and work your way through each one.  Here is the link, I hope you enjoy this journey you are about to go on...     Happy Focusing!!  <3

Monday, April 1, 2013

Yeah... But it's JUST WATER WEIGHT!

I see people all the time who lose weight, and someone will say to them, "Yeah, but it's JUST water weight"...
Well, depending on how you lost the weight, it's probably true...BUT.. the REAL question is, what type of water did you lose?  Was it intracellular water?  Was is extracellular water?  Was it metabolic waste or toxic water?  What do all of these mean??  Here is a brief explanation of all 3.  Intracellular water = the water inside of your cell that feeds the cell, OR Good water..   Extracellular water = the water on the outside of the cell that prevents nutrient absorption, OR bad water... Metabolic waste or Toxic water = The water that creates inflammation in the body, OR Dangerous water.   
The true measure of proper weight loss, losing the right kind of water, and whether or not you are actually detoxing as you lose weight, may require a measurement from a sophisticated measuring device such as, a tanita analyzer.  But if you do not have access to one, you can make sure that you are using a detox that will cleanse all the way in to your third level of toxicity, which is your metabolic waste and toxic water.  Cleanse for Life from Isagenix is one of the very few cleanses that has been proven through the use of sophisticated devices and clinical studies, to not only decrease the bad and dangerous waters, but also INCREASE the good water.  The more good water we have the longer we live.  When the body runs out of good water.. it will suffer terribly.
When the bad water and dangerous water are too high in the body, we begin to see the effects of metabolic syndrome.  We begin to look puffy and swollen, and our cheekbones and ankles disappear.  We begin to feel lethargic, we crave harmful foods, and it becomes increasingly hard to drop weight.  As those dominoes begin to fall, something must take place to begin to turn that process around.  Cleansing is one way to begin to right the things that may be going wrong.  So if you are missing your cheekbones, ankles and ab muscles, maybe it's time to start looking at really losing the water that may be hurting you, AND increasing the water that will help in keeping you healthy.  There are many cleanses out there to pick from, so please make sure you are choosing one that will detox all the way to your Dangerous water... your cells will thank you ;)...  If you want a comparison between fruit juice and Cleanse for Life, please read the blog post  So when someone says to "Yeah, But it's just water weight" can say "Yes, but its the right kind of water to lose!!"     Happy Watering ...

Wednesday, March 27, 2013


     There is a time, in all of our lives, when we look at what someone else has accomplished, and we say to ourselves, "that is so great for them, but I could never do that."  We spend so much time telling ourselves that we can't do something, or talking ourselves out of doing something that could change our whole world in dramatic, positive ways.  Why do we do that to ourselves?  Why are we all so ready to self-sabotage our progress?  It seems crazy doesn't it?  Why is it so much easier to believe -I Can't-... Instead of  -I Can-?  Wouldn't it just be easier to have such unwavering belief in ones self that you could move mountains just by believing?  Why?  Why is it so much easier to believe the negative instead of the positive?  Why are we so detached from our dreams?  These are all great questions.  They are also some of the reasons why we tend to get stuck... stuck in a job we hate, stuck with relationships that don't serve us, stuck in the belief that we could never have enough money, or enough time, or enough courage, or enough skill, or enough _________  .. fill in the blank..  
     It can be different for us all.  We can all have what we dream and desire.  It takes work.. Hard Work!  I do not mean hard labor, I mean hard work in changing our programming.  Hard work in the area of self development, to change the way we think, the way we respond, the way we see.  Hard work growing into the brave, smart, caring, powerful, giving, loving, accepting, people that we all have within us.  We can all make such a difference to this world we live in, but to be of the most impact we must do the hardest work internally, on ourselves first. 
     Find a book, a video, an audio, a motivational speaker, a mentor, a mantra, whatever.. it doesn't matter.. the work can begin easily, it is just imperative that it does begin, and that you are steadfast with your training.  If you really want to change your outcome, you have to learn how.  Some of us may even have to be taught how to dream again, and that it is OK to have a dream and work for it with all of your might.  You have to rewire your thought process, and the only way to do that, is to learn how, and then apply daily what you have learned.  Don't let your brain keep you from your achievements.....I Can Do It Too!!  That is what we must say when we see someone achieve accomplishments..  I CAN do it too..  That is what we must be certain of in order to reach our true potential.  Then after you can see it... help someone else see it... and so on, and so on, and so on..  WOW!!  What a change we could all really make!  <3

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

NOOO.. please not another chick flick!

Chick flicks.. why do they torture guys with these things over and over again?  Well, maybe I can offer some insight.
     Just as every guy watches an action movie, and in the back of the their minds they secretly see themselves as the hero and know the role was written for them,...---Just like that, almost every woman watches a love story and secretly wishes that they were the girl that the handsome, sexy, perfect man with ripped abs, was completely head over heels for.  We watch the same movies over and over and feel the same gooey feelings every time.   It's not that we really want that guy (well maybe a little), but what we want is our man to feel that way about us.  We want our man standing naked in the living room covered by nothing but a box of cookies offering us one.. ( for those of you that don't know, that would be Jack the bartender (Cam Gigandet) in Burlesque).   We want to be Baby crawling across the floor to our dirty dancing man, Patrick Swayze.  We want our man to be the guy that would make us fall in love with him, all over again, every single day, even though we don't remember them at the end of the day.  We want them to chase us down the street calling our name, to jump over any obstacle in that last chance effort to win the girl of their dreams which just happens to be us.  We want our man to be the guy to comfort us, to save us, to complete us, to hold us, to kiss us, to do any one of thousands of romantic gestures just because they want us to be happy, to look past our many flaws and desire us above all others (even above the perfect supermodel who is after them).  We want them to be the werewolf who fights for us non-stop, even though a vampire, who is also them, holds our heart.

Unfortunately, most of us do not live in a movie script with a person who was written specifically for us.
We love our men, and we desire them...we want that kind of passion to exist in our real world....
So..  Men... Listen Closely!!....
When we watch those stupid love movies, over and over, and it's driving you crazy, remember that in the back of our minds,what we are really seeing and wanting is YOU. In the real world, what we really long for is, for you to grab us, hold our face in your hands, put your fingers through our hair, and kiss us deeply and passionately.  Kiss us so intensely that for one brief moment, nothing else exists.
 So, every now and then guys, put on your superhero costume and play the role of the brave knight that we know you really are.
It will only take you a minute.  Your rewards will be great, and it won't even cost you the price of a movie ticket.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

The Silent Pain of the Proud Ones.. ..I HEAR YOU!!!

     Over the past few years, we have watched as our economy tanked, our homeowners were thrown into the streets, the unemployment rates rose to astounding numbers, and everyone was fearful about our future.

     In Las Vegas, even though most people on the outside would think that the main economy here is gambling, casinos, and the strip.  Our real bread and butter is construction.  From roads, to new casinos, to remodeling casinos, to housing, to shopping malls... our main industry has been building things.  When the money stopped flowing into Vegas, and the investors spending money, we saw our unemployment rates skyrocket.  We became one of top three depressed cities in the country.  Our foreclosure rates grew daily, and more people started leaving here than were moving here for the first time in over 50 years.

      All of these things were well documented in the media.  What wasn't talked about on the news was the mental toll this economy would take on its workers.  Over the past 2 years, I have watched as these construction workers, the men and women who make up our skilled trades, such as electricians, carpenters, steel workers, equipment operators, etc... go from being proud, working hard for a good wage, to living on unemployment, and feeling more hopeless as the days, weeks and months have ticked by.  Waiting for the construction industry to turn around, and for the investors to come back and jump start our little city, the picture looks more bleak every day.
      These once proud men and women can no longer work in the field that they were trained for and have worked in most of their lives.  Many have lost their homes, their savings, their marriages, and have cashed in their retirement to have money to live on.  The depths of depression that comes from someone who feels lost and hopeless can be all consuming.  The men especially, who have always been providers, have been reduced to feeling like less than men.  Depression and lowliness do terrible things to a defeated mind.

     What makes me so sad, is watching these big, strong men, feel like they have no options.  Feeling like without this one job description defining them, that they have no definition of who they really are.  I have had them tell me how lost they feel, that they aren't really men anymore, that they feel useless.  A lot of these guys are my friends.  I care for them.  Why are they so stuck in the idea that they cannot redefine who they are?  Why not reinvent themselves into something else?  A new job, a new career, a new road and direction.. they are all out there.  What makes such strong willed people give in to the the idea that without this one thing, that they are nothing?

     There is nothing worse than wasted talent.  The potential is there.  The options are there.  I love you guys and believe in you.  I truly hope that you all can see what I see in you.  Proud, strong, intelligent, hard working, dedicated, caring, funny, necessary men who have a whole world of options, choices and possibilities available to them.  Just take it!
     You can always go back to where you were, but at least make the trip out there, so you know it's really where you want to be.  <3