Sunday, March 13, 2016

I've done everything I can... why don't they like me?

     Sometimes there are days that test my focus, that push my limits on my personal growth, that really check me to see if I am doing my work on myself.  In being open and authentic, I admit that I have spent a lifetime worrying about whether or not I am liked.  I go above and beyond to do things for people, I offer myself up, I give my time, my money, my heart.  I do it to reward my soul, but in really coming to understand who I am, at my core, I believe I also do these things to ensure I am liked.  I think that, possibly, I am not the only one who does this.  We go above and beyond, and hope that we are appreciated, and often times we are not.  Our feelings are hurt, and then in an attempt to feel better about it, we go out and do more things for more people, often times, for the same people who we have felt unappreciated by.  There are times that we are seen in a poor light or accused of something that we didn't do.  And, we, the servers of others, feel so hurt that someone could think so poorly of us, because we do so much to help others.  How could someone think horrible things of us?  It can be a crushing feeling. 
     This week my coach and mentor has helped me to realize, that all of the time I have spent worrying what others have thought, the endless time and efforts supporting others, and the feelings of being not seen, has helped me in ways that I wasn't seeing yet.  It has helped me to become a compassionate leader.  It has helped me to become this person that always see the bright side, and gives others the benefit of the doubt.  A person who looks for solutions and cares deeply for those around her.  A teacher. A mentor. A student.              My coach asked me to make a list of all of the things I am extraordinary at.  As I made this list, I realized that all of those things that I thought made me naive and open to be hurt, those things that always made me feel like the child at the adult table, the thought in my head that I am always overlooked, all of those things were actually the fertilizer in which all of my extraordinary characteristics grew.
     In my life and my work, I breathe belief into people.  I see their potential, even when they can't see it yet.  I lift up and love, I teach and learn, I am open, I am truthful, and my purpose to make this world a better place, even if it is one person at a time is woven into my world daily.  When I was coming from the place of hurt, I believe that I was leading a wounded-driven life.  I had great purpose, but there was always hurt and struggle at the core.  In my realization this week, I see that, these struggles have perfectly prepared me to move from a wounded leader, to a purpose-driven leader.  What an eye opening experience when I connected the dots!  I have also realized, that trying to figure out what is going on inside someones head, is none of my business.  Their thoughts are their own, and I do myself such a disservice spending time in their brains, when there is so much work to be done inside of my own!
     I would challenge all of you to make a list for yourself.  What you are extraordinary at?  What are those characteristics that were grown from your struggles?  Can you connect the dots?  Can we grow and cultivate this together and all become more purpose-driven?  Oh, imagine the lives that we will help to change!  Imagine the impact on world!  It actually gives me goosebumps!!  <3

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Thoughts do become things!!!

Frustration, Discouragement, Irritation, Depression, Lack of Motivation...  Just some of the negative feelings that we can experience in a day that keep us from the life that we could be living.  We are all human, we all have felt some, or all of theses at one time or another.  For some of us we are in a constant cycle of going from one of these to the next, over and over, and as we get more frustrated and down, it just seems as if we just can't get a break.  The dominoes just seem to keep falling over.

So how come it seems that some people never seem to go through any of these down times?  How come some people always see any obstacle as an opportunity...Or they just don't see the obstacle at all, as if it doesn't even exist.   Are they different someone in how they are built?  Are they somehow immune to these things?  No, they have the same brain, blood and organs as the rest of us, but, there is one thing that is different...They use their brains in a different way than most of us do.  These people don't allow these negative thoughts or feelings to take up residency in their mind, they have a constant anti-virus program running in the back of their mind that destroys those thoughts and feelings as they show up, so their thoughts, lives, and results can never be infected.

This is, for most of these people, a learned and practiced behavior.  There are some lucky people that this is just natural for, but for most, it is something that is learned and they constantly worked at it, so it became second nature for them.

Why is it easier to feel the bad stuff, and believe the negative, self defeating talk that goes on in our heads all day?  When we know that we create our own world by the thoughts we think every second, why would choose to create a world full of thorns and misery, when instead we can have a path of happiness and roses?

Most of time it is just a matter of awareness.  When we become aware that our thoughts become things, we must then learn to focus those thoughts on an almost constant basis.  It's hard work.  Rewarding beyond belief... but yes, hard!  This is where I have learned the "anti-virus" technique of having a positive mantra running in the back of my mind at all times.  When things are coming at me in a negative way, or my thoughts go into doubt mode, or I begin to feel any of those negative emotions mentioned above, I have several positive mantras that are constantly there to zap any negative idea or feeling.  They are my soldiers at the gate that will not let the army of self defeat infect my world.  My mantra begins, "Because I am so happy and grateful, I am now___________."  I fill in the blank with a goal that I desire in my life.  I always say this to myself, as if I have already achieved it and it is mine.

I am not always good at it, sometimes I am great, sometimes not so great, but day, by day, by day, I get a little bit better...  It has become a natural thought process for me at most times.  Sometimes I really have to pull my thoughts in when they go off track, but that happens less and less every day.

I will be one of those people who just seem to never have a worry or an obstacle.  I work on it every second.  It is something that I see for myself so clearly.  I keep my objective in my line of sight every where that I look to ensure success.

I hope that in sharing with you what I have been learning, that you may begin to shift your thoughts also.  This is all part of how I believe we can begin to change things in this world.  We can help each other stay in positive flow, and when we do, we can't help but touch the people around us in a better way.

Our thoughts truly become things... So let's all think amazing ones!